Partial Transcript: Episode 26 (Social Filters)

Nick: This topic was my idea.  People make fun of me for not having a filter between my brain and mouth.  I think it’s because I’m probably closer, in my daily interactions, to who I really am.  I don’t filter myself as much as other people do.

Virginia: Is it getting uncomfortable over there with all this judgment pointed your way?

Nick: I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be the person that you say you are.

Virginia: Let’s back up.  Not five minutes ago, you just said that your house is a pit.

Nick: It was a pit.  I cleaned up a few days ago because I got a new bed.

Virginia: And you were embarrassed or you couldn’t get through the living room?

Nick: They couldn’t get through the living room.

Virginia: That’s really bad.

Nick: It’s just boxes.  I’m a slob, a self-proclaimed slob.

Virginia: But you will clean up for…

Nick: For…?

Virginia: The potential that your evening goes…

Nick: Oh… yes.  I will clean up for the ladies.  At the same time, I have not gone on dates because my house was a pit, and I didn’t feel like cleaning up.

Virginia: You canceled dates because you didn’t want to clean house?

Nick: Yes.

Virginia: So, the metric is that you need to want sex more than you hate cleaning the house?

Nick: There’s gotta be that potential there…

Mike: Is it laziness or procrastination?

Nick: Part of it is procrastination.

Virginia: To me, it sounds like you don’t filter thoughts when you talk, but you do filter how much of your house you let other people see.  To me, the house is just symbolic of the fact that you filter your thoughts.  You’re just not aware of it.

Nick: I think the house becomes slovenly because of the buildup of me pulling down stuff and forgetting to put it up.  It’s not like it turns into a pit overnight.

Virginia: You obviously filter it somehow if you clean up when you want to impress a lady.

Nick: My personality is still there.  You know people who are completely different when you first meet them.

Virginia: Didn’t you say that about me when you first met me?

Nick: Yes.  Yes, I did.  I think when you meet new people, show the best side of you that you can.

Virginia: But you’re still filtering then.

Nick: I agree.

Virginia: You’re just saying that your filter is lower.

Nick: I think that’s a positive thing.  I’m “what you see is what you get.”

Virginia: Are your goals authentic interactions with human beings?

Nick: Hells yeah.  It makes interactions more fun.

Virginia: That’s different.  Do you think your actual self makes people more genuine around you?

Nick: Certain people turn it up, and they feel fake.

Virginia: How do you know it’s fake and not their real personality?

Nick: I don’t, but I think people do try to be something different.  I like talking to someone and knowing that they’re a different person when I’m not around.

Virginia: Does it feel any less authentic if the person acts differently when they’re in different social situations?  For example, one of your buddies acts differently when he’s at work than when you guys go out drinking?

Nick: Maybe a little.  Here’s another situation: my friends who have kids.

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