Partial Transcript: Episode 75 (Marriage)

Andrew:  I’m confused as to exactly what we’re talking about.  Marriage is kind of a broad concept.

Virginia: The actual topic is: Why are men boycotting marriage?

Andrew: I didn’t get the memo on this.

Virginia: My husband and Katie’s husband didn’t get the memo either.  There appears to only be one person here boycotting.

Nick: Yes.

Andrew: To me, a boycott has to be an active thing.  I don’t think Nick is being active in avoiding marriage.

Nick: Well, I’m actively trying to not get married.  This is very close to home for me.  Explain the article a little bit more.

Virginia: Helen Smith, the author of this book, did an AMA on Reddit. Her book is, “Man on Strike: Why men are boycotting marriage, fatherhood, and the American dream and why it matters.”  Her eight reasons are: You’ll lose respect, you’ll lose sex, you’ll lose friends, you’ll lose space, you’ll lose your kids and money in divorce, you’ll lose your freedom, and the single life is better than ever.

Andrew: The man cave thing… Does that really happen to people?  I haven’t experienced that.

Nick: My neighbor’s man cave is his side yard.  It’s not even in the house.

Virginia: If you think about it, the outdoors is kind of like the original man cave…

Nick: The only point that I disagree with was the first one about dads not getting any respect.  I think dads do still get respect.

Andrew: Unless they’re the kind who let their kids walk over them.

Nick: Yeah, but that’s a different kind of person.

Virginia: So that’s not one of the reasons that you’re boycotting marriage?

Nick: That’s not one of the reasons that I’m boycotting marriage, but there is a lot of fear in marriage that I do feel.  Giving up half of your income really scares me.

Katie: Giving it up?  As opposed to sharing it?

Nick: I’m talking about after a marriage has broken up.

Virginia: His escape plan isn’t that good.

Katie: It’s just the idea of going into it with this fear that it’s going to end.

Nick: Exactly.

Katie: That’s completely foreign to me.

Nick: I have been in love before.  I had the blinders on and thought it was never going to end, and guess what, it did.  I try to be more realistic.  I know that I’m going to put in the work, but you never know about your partner.  You hope you picked right, but people do change.  These all have effects on relationships.  I’ve seen salesmen who make tons of money but don’t take home any of it because they’ve been married a few times.  It scares me that I could be married for a few years and get divorced and now I have to support her forever.

Virginia: When we talked about this before, my point was that it’s very important who you choose to marry.

Nick: So, get a crystal ball to make sure she’s not a bitch?  How do I overcome the chemical love where my body is overcoming my ability for rational decisions?

Andrew: Here’s my opinion, and I hope my in-laws aren’t listening: live together before marriage.

Virginia: Yeah.

Nick: You mean have sex before marriage?

Andrew: No, live together.  There are a lot of things that you don’t know before marriage.  I have a lot of good friends that I know would not be good roommates.  Same with marriage.  You are totally compatible emotionally and have a good relationship but there is a difference when you are actually sharing a bathroom and a bad.

Virginia: Yes!  A bathroom.  Have you guys had the experience of both having a stomach virus at the same time?

Andrew: No, but I imagine that’s awful.

Katie: I don’t know.  I’ve been married for 13 years, and I’m sure that happened somewhere in there.

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