Transcript: Episode 60 (Facebook)

Virginia: Today we’re going to talk about Facebook…

Nick: …depression.

Andrew: Facebook depression, that  is.  Well, Facebook and social anxiety.

Virginia: This study came out in Germany last year that says Facebook causes depression because you envy other people.

Andrew: Couldn’t looking outside cause depression too?  Because you are seeing other people having fun.

Virginia: I think it’s the fact that you know the people.  The article says: People who communicate relatively infrequently but read the posts of friends and click through their pictures tend to be less satisfied with their own lives.  They subjects cited possible reasons: envy, lack of feedback…

Nick: That does suck.  You post something, and nobody cares.

Andrew: If you want to feel good about your life, just gets friends who are dumber.  Then their status updates make you feel better.  They’ll always be posting stupid crap.

Nick: I’ve got two pretty dumb friends on my Facebook account.

Andrew: Why are you looking at me?

Virginia: What’s that supposed to mean?  I do have a few friends from high school who fall into this category.  I realize that they’re trying to communicate an idea, but I have no idea what it is.  I have to translate it back to English.

Nick: Ebonics is so funny.

Virginia: It’s not even Ebonics.  It’s just bad.

Nick: It’s not like hood slang where they add z’s to everything?

Virginia: No.  It’s just bad spelling and grammar.  No punctuation.  It starts with “LOL WTF” and ends with “wat wat.”

Nick: What’s “wat”?

Virginia: What! What!  That’s how I read it.

Andrew: I read it as: Wat?! Wat?!  I know what you mean.  It’s so poorly written that you can’t even criticize them on the differences between “their” and “there” because they just put “tr.”

Nick: Aren’t you already the asshole by trying to correct their grammar?  Can’t you just read the post and be happy for them?

Andrew: I’m not saying that she does that.  She just glosses over it.

Virginia: Yeah.  Sometimes I try to read them for fun.  It’s hard to figure out what they’re saying.

Andrew: Someone has probably already written a translator.

Nick: You say that, but try dating.  I’ll go out with someone who is pretty young.  It’s like a foreign language when you friend someone on Facebook.

Virginia: I guess dating 11-year-olds is hard.

Andrew: The only people I know who use text to speech are my parents.

Nick: I know girls who do it, and I have no idea what they’re posting.  I get acronyms all the time!

Andrew: None of my friends do that.  Why are you dating?

Nick: You only have nerd friends.

Virginia: I had a 40-year-old woman send me one of those text messages where everything was an acronym.  I never texted her back.

Nick: I don’t understand the cute ones that girls send.

Andrew: Do you know what Google is?

Virginia: It’s because you’re old.

Nick: I’m not even old.  Fuck you guys!!

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